My introduction as a newcomer

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Shelfcloud wrote
on 24 Apr 2011 5:48 PM

Hi,

 

(don't know if it is the right place to post, but there are very many sub-forums here)

I’m Mike, I’m 34 years old and from Holland. I’m a graphite pencil artist and I drew active since I was 30 years old. Not at the moment, but that has other causes than feeling uninspired or blocked or something. I’ve been a lurker around here to see the forums mood and it took a lot of effort to make the decision to join. Not because I’m afraid my works aren’t good, or I’m shy. But I do not have good experience with forums. It always appeared it is about the best drawing, to belong to groupies or to find yourselves interesting. I gave a lot of constructive critique when asked, but in the end all they want was to hear how good they were. I pulled out my neck for a lot of people, but rarely got any feedback or a polite “thanks”. Ignoring, false compliments and a mood where the degree realism and celebs only count as art, got me taken down my art and distant me from the fun of sharing for quite some time. I see this forum has a calm and good mood and that is why I wanted to join: to do art, to share art and enjoy art.

 

I’m a different kind of person/artist: I’m an art-appreciator and my observation, reach & understanding skills are beyond my technical reach, which is mostly the other way around. As a beginner as I am, I’m able to offer help to what others “don’t see”. I have a doubting gift to see tons of details at once and I’m very sensitive for colors and balance. I’m very direct, but I try not to degrade persons for the sake of honesty and critic: that is only rude and definitely not honest. Mostly those things got me connected to communicate with “big” artist, but rarely got any appreciation as a beginner. It made me somehow unpopular, but I don’t mind, cause I give absolutely no one the power to influence my love for art. It is not to show off or anything, but it is just the way it is. Strangely I want to distant from that which I have drawn: realism.

 

I’m a heavy detailist; apparently I want everything and I find everything significant for some reason in my drawings. My biggest problem is how to “loose” them. That is just who I am. That gets me to do 100+ hours drawings. If I have that result that matches up the time? I don’t think so, but drawing and taste are quite subjective. Knowing that I’m very open to any kind of art, with any medium, with any tools. I render what I see and know and I observe the balance, composition, originality, mood and expression in a piece. I enjoy it and I know very quick if it connects with me or not. I do not follow studies, I do not follow books or classes, and I do not tutorial anyone. The own artistic vocabulary is very individual and likely I believe in the free nature on how to do things. For me, drawing means an escape to a terrifying and cold world, a sanctuary and I release my emotions with it. It is a passion for me. I hate my own work mostly or otherwise I’m never satisfied. Some don’t understand it, but that is not why I draw. I draw to see my works grow, to channelize; to hold my pencil and to enjoy “creating”. I try to (re)-invent techniques in a way that it works for me. I respect artists in their own cornerstone of art, but the truth is it makes me feel ashamed to post my own.

 

As for my goals with drawing: I have a really strange visual and memory. I despise realistic celebs, without any content. I draw them for myself, but just for exercise. It sounds like an excuse, but what I really want is to draw my true ideas, the way I see them. It means also I have to set myself independent from references. But I want that convincing factor that is found in realism. Combining that, I want my work  to go in the abstract/fantasy/surrealism direction, but with a “real”-factor, like horror/SF movies. You know it is not real, but it is scary, because it looks so real. Not that I have those horror ideas, but what matter that I want to carry out my heart, my soul and clear out my head, and I want it to do with a big message and with big convincing.

 

Last: I do not have too much time to post right now, but I will be active more and I try to participate when I’m on, not just sticking on my own threads. I’m not trying to complain, or to be obnoxious and negative. I really don’t; in fact I’m afraid. I will post my works when I feel I’m ready for it. When I do, just don’t expect much of it. I just only hope I get in touch with people with who I can view and talk about art.

 

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Shelfcloud wrote
on 28 Apr 2011 11:34 AM

Thanks for the warm welcome. Do you guys ignore people in reallife too?

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on 28 Apr 2011 1:48 PM

Sorry . . .  and welcome.   I wonder how many of us do get wrapped up in our day-to-day lives and are not as forthcoming as we might be.  I plead guilty.   Been busy painting - walls, woodwork, etc etc - and not thinking of anything else, just to get it over and done with.  But you ARE welcome and we look forward to seeing your postings when you are able to.  Enjoy looking around the site.

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rsfloresart wrote
on 28 Apr 2011 2:53 PM

Dito the previous response, Yes Welcome!! Don't be bashful, add your work to the gallery! 

Robert

From My Easel

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Shelfcloud wrote
on 29 Apr 2011 12:51 PM

Well I did actually, but none viewed/watched it, so I took it down again. It is always been like this. I appreciate you both are telling me this in honesty. But in my experience I'm accustomed to "I don't have time". I translate it as: "I don't have time for YOU". You wouldn't believe the same people who claimed they hadn't time, did a personality test of one hour after someone posted it, wrote down stories twice to triple in average I wrote in my previous post...on an artforum?! It got more posts in one day than what they have responded to me or most beginners. How lame is that? It is simple: it takes 5-15 secs to post a "Hi/hello (and welcome)". I don't expect hundreds of replies and I don't care too much people follow my work or not. I mean, I'm refurbishing a lot and the 10 minutes I am online I spent on watching art. I want to participate too, but it does not have to be one-way-traffic everytime if you know what I mean? And I don't want to offend people or attack you or anything. It is just the feeling I'm getting from forums in general.

Ok, to show one of my drawings: I call it "Project trinity I - Alyssa Milano". This is an older drawing. It is the 5th I've done. The project was to train certain cornerstones of techniques. In this case it was a training of proportions, realism, translation and subtlety. Now I am not fond of celebs, but I drew them as a point of recognizing and to feedback to myself how others look upon it as "recognizable" and the rendering of the balance it needs. Eventually I want to draw from my mind, the way I see things in my heart and imagination. References limits me from getting on paper what I really desire. But I missed out a great deal of letting my future ideas look a lot more convincing (see intro). I don't like it, and it is definitely not art let alone the efficiency of 130 hours I spent on a 30x40 cm (A3) drawing. It has no artistic reach at all. But this is a huge swap against my previous drawings. So don't expect too much of it. My "art" is currently much better now.

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on 29 Apr 2011 1:17 PM

Nice drawing,  you have a good hand - I particularly like the texture of the hair.    Relative to commenting - we have all, I'm sure, experienced the silence at one time or another. 

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Shelfcloud wrote
on 30 Apr 2011 12:33 PM

Thank you for your words.

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