Would like an honest opinion on this piece, be brutally honest please!

This post has 10 Replies | 4 Followers
Not Ranked
Posts 7
Points 110
on 19 Dec 2013 8:02 PM

 

Be honest please, my family and friends say it's great but you know how that goes lol

  • | Post Points: 50
Not Ranked
Posts 20
Points 400
jayarkay wrote
on 20 Dec 2013 10:40 AM

I don't feel it's helpful to be brutal but it is always useful to be honest.

I feel we need more information from you about the medium you used and also the process you went through to produce this.

I must confess that it looks remarkably as if you have used digital means to produce this, some sort of cutout has been employed and the glow gives it away I'm afraid. Also parts of the picture look as if they have been traced. The sitter's left arm certainly looks badly out of proportion.

Please tell us more.

John

http://www.millrind.co.uk

http://issuu.com/jayarkay/docs

  • | Post Points: 20
Not Ranked
Posts 7
Points 110
on 20 Dec 2013 11:55 AM

Thank You so much for your feedback, John!

 

I did this while I was deployed to Afghanistan and didn't have all the tools that I normally use.  I believe I only had three pencils, Derwent 3B, B, and H.  I don't remember the type of paper. 

I used the grid-method because I wanted the dimensions perfect, it was a gift for my Dad.  The glow was produced by leaving it white around the contour and making it gradually darker as it got farther away. 

I started on the faces and by the time I started on the clothes it was so close to Xmas that I had to rush it so I could mail it out.

Josh

 

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 100 Contributor
Posts 606
Points 5,275
on 20 Dec 2013 12:27 PM

Oyster—

From what you have explained, you did this under less that ideal conditions. Even using a grid, this drawing shows that you have a lot of talent. You are able to maintain good control of the forms involved.

The glow effect in the background does not help. It looks contrived. John pointed out the fact that your father's arm looks too large. I understand that you were drawing from a photo. In the future, try to take the photos yourself for their specific use as reference. Take photos from enough distance that there will not be size distortion of elements closer to the camera. I mention all this because in doing portraits it is very difficult to not work with photos—at least to some extent.

In making comments on your work, I wish we were aware of your previous training and your future aspirations. My best advise is for you to study the work of artists you admire and keep up the good work.

Paul

  • | Post Points: 20
Not Ranked
Posts 20
Points 400
jayarkay wrote
on 20 Dec 2013 12:33 PM

Thanks for that reply Josh. Sorry about the comment about digital. Paul is right in all his comments.

I would add that the worst way to do any work at all is under pressure, even if it's just from yourself.

I should lose the H pencil, it's far too hard for drawing.

Keep up the drawing!

John

http://www.millrind.co.uk

http://issuu.com/jayarkay/docs

  • | Post Points: 20
Not Ranked
Posts 7
Points 110
on 20 Dec 2013 2:17 PM

Thank you, Paul!

 

I really haven't had any formal training, and I really haven't been drawing all that long and my work is very limited.  Probably done about 8 pieces altogether for friends and family.  I would like to do commissions, that's my goal.  Not necessarily making a living, but I would like to make a little bit of money on the side.

  • | Post Points: 5
Not Ranked
Posts 7
Points 110
on 20 Dec 2013 2:18 PM

Thanks, John

You make a good point about working under pressure, it seems I always feel rushed and it's usually by my own doing.

 

  • | Post Points: 5
Top 150 Contributor
Posts 379
Points 5,835
on 20 Dec 2013 3:01 PM

He looks a proud and happy Grandpa.   Relative to Paul's comment on the white around the figures.  I did a painting of my daughter and entered it into a show.  The brief critique I received addressed the same effect you have in your drawing - "avoid haloing" I was told.   I wasn't able to correct the effect on the abstract background I had painted to my satisfaction, and, ended up changing the background entirely.   And so the learning process goes.   You have captured a moment in time and I'm sure your Dad is very pleased.

  • | Post Points: 20
Not Ranked
Posts 7
Points 110
on 23 Dec 2013 2:09 AM

Thanks Valerie,

 

Yes he loved it and has it hanging up in his living room.  I will definitely avoid the halo effect next time!

  • | Post Points: 20
Not Ranked
Posts 8
Points 100
scottinca wrote
on 14 Jan 2014 1:47 PM

I think it's a wonderful piece! Great shading and I think the glow is a cool idea. Hard to find much to critique about it, some lines could have possibly been a bit darker to highlight some details more but that could be the photo itself that isn't doing the art justice. Thanks for sharing, anyone would be happy to get a gift like that!

  • | Post Points: 20
Not Ranked
Posts 7
Points 110
on 18 Jan 2014 7:44 PM

Thanks!!  It's good to have some positive reviews on here.  I just wonder, I run ads on the internet trying to receive commissions at $25-40 per piece.  One of my ads has gotten almost 300 views but no inquiries.  Is it the medium that people aren't interested in, nobody cares for portraits, or is it just not up to par to get any commissions?  Scratching my head...

  • | Post Points: 5
Page 1 of 1 (11 items) | RSS