Please give your opinion on this piece, and offer any advice (If any) as too what would make it better.
Nice drawing. However, you need to submit a picture of it with a straight on shot. The one you have here distorts your drawing,
http://www.facebook.com/CharlieGunnArtist My Art Work
Very good effort.
Maybe this will help.
I should have added the reason for what I said. When you are learning to draw the figure - it is easy to get caught up in the contours, details, and subtleties of the human figure and fail to create a good dimensional foundation. I am tempted to suggest that - if you have an artists manikin - draw that in many foreshortened poses until you master creating very dimensional looking drawings of it. The reason - you will not be distracted but all the details of a human form - just the simplified shapes. If you do this - then go back to the human figure - you should get much better results. I am old school - so I would also suggest that you study anatomy - while drawing only the artists manikin.